The Legend of Andar the Welle-Booted
T'was the yeare 1474 and Andar rode to the Faire and was struck with the sighte of what was called "Future Weare". Lo it hadst come to pass that manly men of the lande were blighted upon their feet with afflictions known as Nike Pox, Converse of the Foote and Whatevere-was-in-the-Closet Disease.
Faire Ladies snickered down theyere ample busomes and othere men snorted meade through theire noses to keep from laughing as they passed. Narry a one was bedfriended, or, alas, bedded -- as they looked like dorkes amongst the tribe of Faire-Goers known as the Clan of the Not-Too-Cool-for-Garb. (Verrily theire lack of fashion remained craptastic despite theyr purchase at yon Horns-on-a-String Carte).
And lo, they were made to stay home and play Halo alone and miss the chance to gaze upon the busomes a mite bit closer than across the Steak-on-a-Stake counter. Knowing full well that "Aye, salt n'peppere are overrr thyere sir." was probably code for "Meet me behind the Plywood Shield Merchant's for some hanky-pankey when the moon ist nigh.".
Undaunted, Andar rode through the night - and it was really darke as this was the 28th day of Auguste and a new moon shown upone the moors. He hadst been encouraged earlier by his lass, Gaydar, who sayeth; "Out of the house ye scallywag! Take yer boots yonder to faire for all I care! P'raps theryn more appreciative of yer humor in them parts!", for it was her 28th day as well.
Narrowly escaping wyth his life (for Gaydar had been sharpening her parrying dagger for a fortnight), Andar was ayble to slip into the walled faire as a substitute guard with the brains of a gnat thought he sayd he was bringing in "booty".
Thus is the very, very bad and plotless tale of Andar the Well-Booted and howe he brought fyne boots to the Kingdom of the Crappily Shod and changed thiere fortunes...
So celebrate the famous ride of Andar. After you pull on your garb pull on a pair of Andar's Serious Boots. Not a fellow in the Realm will dare mock your be-tighted leggings lest they git drubbed in the nethers by your manly boot bottoms. Th'e'i're Serious Boots.
Really About Us...
Andar: Andrew (pronounced an-darrrrr when yer drunke) has been making shoes since 2002. When he wanted a pair of boots for the Faire, he found that the worst ones were $75 and the best were $800...
So he designed his own - something right up the middle - and priced it fairly (fairely - ha ha!).
Gaydar: Andar's right hand woman & resident artiste... Named so because her name is Gay (really).